Attending a funeral

Here are some of the things to consider when attending a funeral. Most of them you might have to check beforehand and rather than bother the family you could always contact the funeral director; they will be happy to help.

Dress code

Many funerals now request black not to be worn. Sometimes it is put in the newspaper announcement, so be sure to check. You may also find that some churchyards and crematorium are cold and so you may want to dress warmly. Also, choose your footwear carefully if attending a graveside as churchyards can have soft, uneven ground.

List of names

There maybe a reporter at the door of the church or chapel to take your name. It can speed up the process if you have all the names of your party on a piece of paper to hand to the person. Be sure to include anybody you are representing. Alternatively there maybe a card to complete so you might like to take a pen.

Attending the committal

Whether it is a committal at the crematorium or at the cemetery it is sometimes difficult to know whether general mourners should attend the committal service or not.  Sometimes it will be stated on an order of service. Otherwise you can take some clue from any newspaper announcement: if the announcement states followed by cremation and gives the details then it is likely you would be welcome if the details are not given then assume the committal is to be private.

Flowers or donations

It should say in a newspaper announcement  if the family have requested donations in lieu of flowers and if so give the name of the charity and possibly the instructions on how to make donations. You can normally  give donations at the church or chapel. If you put your donation in an  envelope with the deceased’s name on and your own name somewhere inside it can be used to tell the family  who has given. If sending flowers have them sent to the funeral director on the morning of the funeral.